Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #measure #wealth #belongings #person

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In today's world,

money

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and material belongings are known as the standard of

people

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success

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. In my opinion, wealth is not an indicator of being successful, since there are various ways of gaining achievement. Undoubtedly, there are some aims and

people

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that stand by a successful

person

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. To start with, a

person

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success

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should not determined by prosperity by how much

money

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they earn.

Firstly

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, the majority of

people

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have enough

money

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for creating and manufacturing,

in other words

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developing

money

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investment for taking their future under guarantee. Unfortunately, not all of them can manage how to spend specie,

consequently

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after a certain period wealth gets lost.

According to

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the statistics, over 40% of newly opened business areas expanded.

Hence

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, all profits and losses should be considered accurately

Obviously

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Obviously,

show examples

the reason for successful

people

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is, to come up with creative and useful ideas.

Nevertheless

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, not all

people

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are gifted with

this

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capacity as in that case all of us would be moneyed.

Consequently

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, divergent thinking always makes a

person

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forward. The other approach to obtaining

success

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is pushing yourself to aim for your goals and being persistent should be the key factor to realising ambitions.

Thus

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, being a determined

person

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is what makes you close to a favourable outcome. In conclusion, even though we live in a society where a

person

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's level of

success

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is largely determined by how wealthy he is, I disagree because, fortune and material belongings can be irrelevant in terms of gaining

success

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scale, which should be based on

people

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's accomplishments with their own desires.

Submitted by shams.aliyeva on Thu Sep 21 2023

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task achievement

Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear logical structure throughout your essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

measure
subjective
content
happiness
fulfillment
resilience
determination
perseverance
impact
contribution
intellectual
emotional intelligence
growth mindset
achievements
personal relationships
health
personal development

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Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Some people prefer to live in hot climate; however, others prefer to live in cold regions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.