Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #measure #wealth #belongings #person

In today's world,

money

and material belongings are known as the standard of

people

success

. In my opinion, wealth is not an indicator of being successful, since there are various ways of gaining achievement. Undoubtedly, there are some aims and

people

that stand by a successful

person

. To start with, a

person

success

should not determined by prosperity by how much

money

they earn.

Firstly

, the majority of

people

have enough

money

for creating and manufacturing,

in other words

developing

money

investment for taking their future under guarantee. Unfortunately, not all of them can manage how to spend specie,

consequently

after a certain period wealth gets lost.

According to

the statistics, over 40% of newly opened business areas expanded.

Hence

, all profits and losses should be considered accurately

Obviously

Add a comma

Obviously,

show examples

the reason for successful

people

is, to come up with creative and useful ideas.

Nevertheless

, not all

people

are gifted with

this

capacity as in that case all of us would be moneyed.

Consequently

, divergent thinking always makes a

person

forward. The other approach to obtaining

success

is pushing yourself to aim for your goals and being persistent should be the key factor to realising ambitions.

Thus

, being a determined

person

is what makes you close to a favourable outcome. In conclusion, even though we live in a society where a

person

's level of

success

is largely determined by how wealthy he is, I disagree because, fortune and material belongings can be irrelevant in terms of gaining

success

scale, which should be based on

people

's accomplishments with their own desires.

Submitted by shams.aliyeva on Thu Sep 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear logical structure throughout your essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

measure
subjective
content
happiness
fulfillment
resilience
determination
perseverance
impact
contribution
intellectual
emotional intelligence
growth mindset
achievements
personal relationships
health
personal development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?
Energy is produced by various methods from atomic energy as well as from natural resources. It is a debatable topic that nuclear energy is harmful and should be prohibited and replaced by renewable energy resources such as solar power. According to my perspective, I completely agree with this statement as atomic power is harmful to mankind.
4
band
Task 1 You are concerned about a playground in your local college. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter: - express your concern on things in the playground that are not safe; - explain why it is important to fix them; - suggest any improvements that make playground safe for everyone.
My name is Kate. I leave next to the college, between from playground. I am writing this latter due to some reasons. Everyday children after kindergarten go to the playground. Ising it is dangers for child and business there a lot of drum swing , especially this mean from which the nail spun and that's not at all . The sandbox where children daily play there are a lot of piece of glass . I think it can be lead a huge problems if you do not solve it . I can offer you how made much more better set new swings. We are these several families can invest in this playground, we want much more safely place for children. If you solved our problem , we would be very graceful to you . İf you have some questions you can call me at this number.
6.5
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. Others, however, believe that they can learn about the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Newspapers and the internet are both important sources of information. While some people believe that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, others argue that the internet is a better source. In this essay, I will examine both viewpoints and argue that the internet is the superior source of information.
7
band
Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
It is believed by certain individuals that newspapers are the most appropriate way to fetch news, while others are of the opinion that alternative media options are more useful. Although both the options have their own merits; in my understanding, it is beneficial to go by the former.
7.5
band
In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
These days, some argue that the government should invest more money in medical care and education while others think money should be spent on the arts. In my opinion, both are important aspects of citizens and the country’s development and equal funds should be allocated to them.

Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.