The given pie charts illustrate the poplarity of going to worl between cycling and driving

The provided pies present the comparison of reasons for crowds choosing driving and biking to work.

To begin

with, 30% of crowds choose cycling because of less population and the statistic is as same as the group who believe it is healthy to go to work by bike.

Furthermore

, 15% of people are concerned about a few parking lots around their workspaces which promotes their cycling choices.

Last

but not least, 13% and 12% of riders are into riding because of zero costs and the superior commuting speed.

In contrast

, 40% of

drivers

choose to

drive

because of comfort and 21% of them

drive

owing to long distances to work. What's more, 14% of

drivers

prefer to

drive

because vehicles are faster than bicycles and another 14% of them need help carrying personal stuff.

Finally

, the

last

11% of

drivers

love to

drive

owing to the safety concern of cycling. In conclusion, people have different opinions on which commuting is faster. In

this

aspect, 13% of riders believe biking beats driving.

However

, 14% of

drivers

argue that driving is the best way to save time.

Submitted by xiaol8616 on Thu Sep 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words drivers, drive with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

185 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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