Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

#children #hours #phones #case #development

Some juveniles spend most of their time daily on their mobile

phones

This

is because there are many different applications in Android

phones

that attract especially

children

. I believe that

this

is a negative development because it has many detrimental effects on kid's

health

. Nowadays,

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

show examples

has become an indispensable device and most

children

use

this

in excess amount on a daily basis. The reason is that there are a lot of apps on mobile

phones

related to games and cartoons, that are designed in a way that minors must attract.

For example

according to

university research, almost 90% of the YouTubers on YouTube make content that seeks the attention of

children

As a result

, it is difficult for minors to ignore these videos and they end up watching it all day.

On the other hand

, using mobile

phones

all day

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

towards negative aspects because it affects the

health

of the

children

in many ways.

Furthermore

, more screen time is harmful because juveniles are not indulged in any physical activities, That's why they suffer from various

health

conditions.

For instance

according to

a news article, researchers have seen more than 60% of minors, have bad

health

conditions

due to

a game called PUBG.

Therefore

, the game is designed in a way that many

children

become addicted and

this

thing leads them to serious

health

issues. In conclusion, juveniles use smartphones all the time because many apps fascinate them and

this

has many drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

their

health

. Excess usage of

phones

is a destruction for kids.

Submitted by saadahmad33102 on Fri Sep 22 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Review the book "In Valeria's Shoes" by Elisabet Benavent.

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