Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
One of the social concerns today relates to
parents
’ Use synonyms
supervision
of their Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
While
it is widely believed that Linking Words
parents
should take control of their Use synonyms
children
closely, others believe Use synonyms
parents
should give more freedom to their Use synonyms
children
. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion, we should keep the balance between the two notions. (không sai, nhưng chung chung vậy thì điểm thấp)
On the one hand, it is argued that Use synonyms
parents
’ Use synonyms
supervision
of their young is important and necessary. The main reason is that Use synonyms
kids
are unable to protect themselves in some likely dangerous situations. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that they are not mature and knowledgeable enough to keep themselves away from dangers that are present everywhere around them. One good illustration of Linking Words
this
is that a Linking Words
child
may not know a bowl of boiling soup on the table is hot and can cause burning. They possibly put their fingers into the bowl and get a burn. Another reason is nowadays there is an increasing issue of Use synonyms
children
kidnapping crime. Use synonyms
For example
, when a Linking Words
child
is playing in the park without his Use synonyms
parents
’ Use synonyms
supervision
, some bad people can approach the Use synonyms
child
and allure him with sweets or something, and Use synonyms
then
kidnap the Linking Words
child
. The criminals do that just because they want to take ransom from the Use synonyms
child
’s Use synonyms
parents
or they may sell the poor Use synonyms
child
overseas. So if the Use synonyms
parents
always keep an eye on their Use synonyms
children
’s activities, it will be safer for the Use synonyms
kids
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that Linking Words
children
should have more freedom to do almost whatever they want. People often have Use synonyms
this
opinion because they think the best way to learn everything is from both bad and good experiences that would help Linking Words
children
grow independently and wisely. A second point is that freedom would encourage and enhance a Use synonyms
child
’s creativity, problem-solving skills and taking Use synonyms
responsibilities
. A particularly good example here is a Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
child
who is playing with his peers in the playground, and sometimes there is a quarrel with other Use synonyms
kids
. If the Use synonyms
parents
do not intervene in the Use synonyms
kids
’ business, the Use synonyms
child
will learn how to communicate, and negotiate to get what he wants. He may be a loser, but at least after that, he can learn to control his bad feelings.
In conclusion, it is commonly thought that Use synonyms
parents
should supervise their Use synonyms
children
carefully meanwhile others assume that Use synonyms
parents
should give their Use synonyms
children
more space to Use synonyms
delelop
naturally and independently. Personally, I tend to believe that Correct your spelling
develop
parents
need to keep a balance between too much Use synonyms
supervision
and not Use synonyms
to
control at all. Let Fix the infinitive
apply
children
grow up naturally and learn new things with genuine curiosity about the world and sometimes deal with certain harsh situations. But it does not mean that Use synonyms
parents
do not accompany their Use synonyms
kids
in any circumstances, let Use synonyms
them
alone when they need help. I believe Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
would learn how to raise and educate their Use synonyms
children
through a long challenging and interesting journey to be smart and the best Use synonyms
parents
.Use synonyms
Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline your stance and the structure of your essay. Although your opinion is present, it could be more explicitly stated to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While the essay is generally well-structured, more sophisticated cohesive devices could enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples that relate specifically to the points being made. While the examples given are good, they can be further elaborated to strengthen the arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite