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Band 5.5

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rates #fall #advances #technology #crimes
This
 essay
about
Add a missing verb
is about
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crime
 rates. My position is disagreed. Nowadays modern
technology
 is extremely developed. It can
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
count
Correct article usage
the count
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 of
crime
. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 I
want
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towant
show examples
 tell about
positive
Add an article
the positive
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 side of developing
information
technology
. Nowadays, lots of
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
digital
Change preposition
of digital
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 CCTV cameras and computer software are being made. Maybe CCTV cameras very important and
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 thing for
detect
Change the verb form
detecting
show examples
crime
.
For example
, if somewhere
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
accident
Add an article
an accident
show examples
 with cars or
bulgary
Correct your spelling
bulgar
,
videorecords
Correct your spelling
video records
 can
halp
Correct your spelling
help
 find law-breaker.
In addition
, some computer software and mobile applications can work to open
crime
.
For example
: call recorder, GPS
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
 and etc. Hopefully,
number
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the number
show examples
 of
cirime
Correct your spelling
crime
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
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 in the future
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
help
Change the verb form
helping
show examples
modern
Change preposition
of modern
show examples
information
technology
.
On the other hand
, modern
information
technology
 can
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
count
Correct article usage
the count
show examples
 of lawlessness.
For example
, fraud in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping, stealing money from credit
card
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cards
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,
Correct word choice
and hacker's
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hacker's
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hacker
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attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 important government
website
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websites
show examples
. It can create
seriously politics
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serious political
show examples
porblems
Correct your spelling
problems
. Some hackers can make
virus
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viruses
show examples
 for
computer
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computers
show examples
 or
website
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websites
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 all people must know how to right use
technology
. It's very important for
safe
Replace the word
saving
show examples
 our
information
 and our money. If you want to be safe your health, your money and important
information
 you have to know
Correct article usage
the usefull
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 side of
information
technology
. In fact, nowadays AI
technology
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
devoloping
Correct your spelling
developing
. It can
halp
Correct your spelling
help
 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
. If we right use it. In conclusion, I think the Government ought to
seriously
Change the word
serious
show examples
 attention to that problem. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, we need to personnel training well.
Information
 technologies are
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 or useless,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
how to use
this
technology
.
Submitted by usmb91 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • high-tech surveillance
  • facial recognition systems
  • omnipresence
  • deter
  • digital forensics
  • ballistic testing
  • revolutionize
  • exonerate
  • root causes
  • social inequality
  • invasion of privacy
  • civil liberties
  • surveillance
  • data collection
  • negative implications
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • online fraud
  • cybersecurity
  • vulnerabilities
  • exploit
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