IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the present era, were latest technology and methods of sale and purchase are changing the lives of customers. I totally agree with the idea that
e- commerce
Correct your spelling
e-commerce

The words e- commerce seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

has totally rerouted the method of trade. The lives of people before the internet and gadgets were completely different,
so
Correct word choice
and so

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 were the ways of selling and purchasing.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 - if a person needs to buy a pair of pants,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 he must go to a clothing store or a shop to make a purchase, without comparing the
price
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with other sellers, who might be selling at a lower
price
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, unless he visits them all to compare the
price
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. With the arrival of
internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 and it being accessible on devices like
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 which makes it
easier
Add a missing verb
is easier

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 for
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers

It seems that consumer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 can view
product-line
Correct your spelling
product lines

The word product-line doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 on one platform.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in return helps
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to locate and compare the product of their need with various
price
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges

It seems that range may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of styles without getting out of the comfort of their house or office. Now the presence of technology can be seen everywhere, the kiosk machines at fast-food restaurants, airports,
railway
Correct word choice
and railway

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 stations to name a few.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if a person goes to a railway station where there are hundreds of people who need to purchase tickets, with few railway employees selling tickets, it will result in many
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 missing their trains. With the help of kiosk machines, the purchasing and selling of tickets become smooth and efficient as the
Userfriendly
Correct your spelling
User-friendly

The word Userfriendly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 interface makes it easy for transactions.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be said that the introduction of robust technology and new methods of interaction
among
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 buyer and seller has revolutionized the life of
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as it is easy to use and is available in every corner of the world which
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves

It seems that the verb save does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 both time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
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