IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that getting old is entirely bad, while others think that life of the elderly in modern world is much better than in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #world
Getting old is a natural process that everyone has to face, and it is often associated with physical decline. So, some argue that
this
 process is entirely negative.
However
, considering the elements of medicine and technology, I believe that there is a better life for
individuals
 than before.   Undeniably, the field of medicine has made tremendous progress in recent years. In the past, cutting-edge equipment in medicine was only available in the city which was the first-tier city.
Nevertheless
, with the development of technology, medical equipment
such
 as X-rays and CT scans are common for the public, even for those who live in smaller towns and rural areas.
In addition
, there has been a rise in the development of home medical devices, including ventilators for older
individuals
 with respiratory disorders, which greatly enhance their quality of life. These advancements have undeniably contributed to the
overall
 well-being of the elderly.  
However
, some claim that technical devices nowadays,
such
 as mobile phones, can pose challenges for senior citizens to use
due to
 the small text size on phones. Ironically, smartphone manufacturers have recognized
this
 issue and have introduced features like "easy mode" to assist older
individuals
 in using mobile phones effectively.
Furthermore
, smartphones can serve as a valuable tool for connecting the elderly with their family members who may live in other countries. Through video calls, older
individuals
 can maintain and strengthen their relationships,
thus
 enhancing their happiness and well-being.
Therefore
, it is evident that technology plays a vital role in improving the lives of the elderly by fostering connections and relationships.   In conclusion,
although
 elderly people may face issues in modern life, from my point of view,
it is clear that
 progress in both medical and technological fields has had a positive impact on the lives of the elderly.
Submitted by hxk7664 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: