IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #government #libraries #town #waste #money #internet #home #information
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People have different views about whether the leverage of establishing free
libraries
 in each town is worth it or a waste of budget
while
 the society can use the cyberspace and net at their home to get
information
. I personally believe that the initiation of
libraries
 at no cost will enhance the literacy of students. Some people are convinced that the
information
 can be obtained by using the internet without visiting the
libraries
. In the cutting-edge era, individuals can use their smartphones to find useful
information
 by visiting some websites. Not only that, when they have some trouble understanding
information
, they can leverage the online meeting platforms to discuss with their peers about exchange
information
, trends, and data.
Thus
, they think that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
construction of
libraries
 is useless.
However
, I would argue that the installation of no-charge
libraries
 in every town is to provide extraordinary programs. Nowadays, the advantage of
libraries
 is not only implementing a main task to help some academicians find
information
 but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives various facilities,
such
 as consultation by experts about the contents of topics that they want to find.
Therefore
, It allows the citizens to enhance their knowledge comprehensively through interactive dialogue and more facilities. because
libraries
, provide some articles which are sourced from the research student's collection. Meanwhile, when learners find
information
 from the internet, they tend to bias whether the
information
 is based on research or not. In conclusion,
although
 the public may hold varying perspectives, I believe the conduct of cost-free
libraries
 would help increase the literacy of learners and should be totally supported
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by discussing each viewpoint equally before stating your own opinion.
coherence & cohesion
Work on the variety and accuracy of linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more concrete examples to support your arguments, which can make them more convincing.
language accuracy
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and strive for accuracy in your word choice.
task achievement
You have effectively presented your own opinion and justified it.
structure
Good use of an introduction that sets up the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
coherence & cohesion
The main points are supported, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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