Question : some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in countryside. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Urban
areas
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are becoming the first choice of youngsters to live in and the
people
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who are old can not live there
due to
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their habit of staying in peaceful locations. There are a few reasons for
this
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phenomenon and
this
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essay will describe its causes and solutions. First and foremost, better living styles and more opportunities in big
cities
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attract youth to start their lives over there. Individuals have uncountable job options to lead a luxurious life and
this
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is the thing all youngsters need. As flaunting expensive clothes, bags, and cars
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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in trend nowadays, so, youth want to earn hefty amounts of money to maintain
this
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lifestyle.
Thus
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, the establishment of Multinational companies in big towns is a method of alluring youngsters toward advanced
cities
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.
Secondly
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, all amenities are accessible to local residents of towns
such
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as hospitals, schools, and so on. So, no wonder why
people
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love to lead their lives in
such
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areas
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.
Last
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but not least, elders have been spending their whole life in villages or remote
areas
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where all
people
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were emotionally attached to each other and they had supported each other in hard times. In
this
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kind of environment, old
people
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cannot get into urban
areas
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, and
this
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is why, they avoid going and living in
cities
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.
Whereas
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, if the government assists one to earn well in remote
areas
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by opening factories, and businesses, and directing foreign companies
to begin
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their organisations in rural
areas
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are few effective ways to change the mentality of youths that big
cities
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are the only way to keep living standards high.
Moreover
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, the Expansion of the healthcare sector in small towns is a basic need these days but still, so many villagers are struggling to get physician's help for their treatment as they do not have hospitals in the village.
Hence
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, authorities have a huge role in improving
this
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.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that the government has the power to change
this
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whole scenario, even though, young ones give preference to urban
areas
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they can head towards small
cities
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if they find good career options.

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in the body paragraphs. For instance, you could include statistics or studies that demonstrate the employment opportunities available in urban areas compared to rural locations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on optimizing the logical flow of ideas. Consider using transition words to better connect thoughts between sentences and paragraphs, which will enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your main points in the introduction to set a clearer expectation of the structure of your essay. Make sure to restate those points in your conclusion succinctly to reinforce your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear understanding of the issues related to migration from rural areas to urban centers, outlining the causes and possible solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The writing has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that addresses the prompt effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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