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Band 3.5

According to a recent study, the more people use the internet, the less time they spend with real humans begins. Should we worry about the effect this is having on social interaction or should we see the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide? Discuss these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#study #people #internet #time #humans #effect #interaction #communication #possibilities
People nowadays use
internet
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the internet
show examples
 for their daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. Not only for work interest but for
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 and socialize too. In reality, using
internet
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the internet
show examples
 in daily life is like
double-edged
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a double-edged
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 sword,
they
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it
show examples
 can give us huge benefits but can be a
hazzard
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hazard
 too if we can’t use
wisely
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it wisely
show examples
.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
help
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helps
show examples
 people to connect
others
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with others
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 from across the globe, no matter where and when
you
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they
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 are now.
There’s
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There are
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 many
usefull
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useful
app
Change to a plural noun
apps
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 we can use, like
zoom
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Zoom
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, skype,
whatsapp
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WhatsApp
Whatsapp
, google meet, etc. It is actually giving us
benefit
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the benefit
show examples
to cut
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of cutting
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 the cost of transportation and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. We can arrange meetings online so that we don’t have to go abroad just to attend meetings. But the
internet
also
have
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has
show examples
 trillions of source that if we don’t utilize
wisely
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them wisely
show examples
,
it
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apply
show examples
will be
our
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apply
show examples
damage
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damaged
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. Tons of ads that contain pornography can reach our
child
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children
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 without us knowing.
Beside
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Besides
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 the dangers of pornography, the negative
effect
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effects
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from
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of
show examples
 the
internet
 can
made
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be made
make
show examples
 us forget who we are. Made us feel insecure with all of
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the others
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others
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others'
other's
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accomplishment
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accomplishments
show examples
.
This
 can lead to depression. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
all
negative
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the negative
show examples
effect
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effects
show examples
 of the
internet
, I tend to see
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide based on the reason I
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 above.
On the other hand
, it is true that people spend more time on the
internet
 rather than doing “real
meeting
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meetings
show examples
” with a real human being. In my opinion, it is
ok
Correct word choice
okay
show examples
 to communicate through the
internet
 as long as you still follow moral
value
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values
show examples
 rules.
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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