IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
Many
people
 argue that getting to know genealogy is becoming more important in recent times,
while
 others believe that
one
 should concentrate on their current and coming generations. In
this
 essay, I will analyze both views and present my opinion in conclusion. On the
one
 hand, learning about ancestry is a way of feeling closer to
one
’s own family, which is linked in part to family traditions. And it is even more crucial for the next generation to carry on
such
 valuable and unique traditions, that honoring where they come from.
Furthermore
, family trees can be a fascinating discussion topic for all members of the family to talk together whenever there is a family meeting.
For instance
,
how
Rephrase
apply
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my grandparents faced difficulties
to bring
Change preposition
in bringing
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 up their children during the Vietnam War. That’s becoming our
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 topic when all relatives gather for a traditional holiday feast.
Additionally
, figuring out family history
also
 helps inform your health choice to prevent or treat diseases. Families that know that heart disease runs in their family can seek advice from doctors about how to avoid it.
On the other hand
, few
people
 believe that our present is more critical than our past and
one
 should devote his time and efforts to future generations rather than digging into the past. Proponents of
this
 viewpoint say that researching ancestral trees might reveal some facts that can be embarrassing for our current generation.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of children will feel uncomfortable and distracted if they discover that
one
 of their ancestors was not patriotic or committed several crimes.
Besides
, many
people
 think that the past cannot be changed, so
instead
 of wasting time
on
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apply
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digging up family history, the present and future should be prioritized. In conclusion, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of both views.
However
, in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
 figuring out genealogical trees assists
people
to track
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in tracking
show examples
 their origin, achievement of their ancestors
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the task prompt. Provide a clear and balanced discussion of both views and express a consistent and developed opinion in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas and ensure the logical progression of arguments.
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