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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, governments like to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries, governments like to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think the government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
#countries #governments #money #arts #people #government #health #education
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People have different views about how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments allocate their
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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. Many argue that
arts
Use synonyms
 should be invested more,
while
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 others hold that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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government should spend their budget on health
care
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 and
education
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 and show why I favour the latter. On the one hand, it is understandable why some citizens believe that spending on
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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 is much more important. The primary reason is that as they are the symbol of culture, the works of art play
an
Change the article
a
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 crucial role in our
life
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lives
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. Generating and reconstructing
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
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 is a practical way to educate youngsters to be proud of their nation.
Besides
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, it is a way for government leaders to take
care
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 of
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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 health of their citizens.
However
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, investing a significant amount of money in
arts
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 could be a waste. Nowadays, all kinds of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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 can be displayed on the internet,and people can watch them without
fee
Add an article
a fee
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.
Therefore
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, they are more unlikely to pay for a gallery or a concert.
In addition
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, the investment in the healthcare system and
education
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 would boost the development of an economy, which undoubtedly improves the living standards of
their
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its
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 citizens. In term of
education
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, high quality labour force tend to
associated
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be associated
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 with the improvement of educational outcomes.
Because employees
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Employees
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 who are equipped with knowledge would help businesses increase
the
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apply
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productivity and save production
cost
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costs
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.
Furthermore
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, it is
obviously
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obvious
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 that
an
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apply
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advanced medical
care
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help
Change the verb form
helps
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 people
extent
Replace the word
extend
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 their life expectancy, which means they would have more time contributing to society. In conclusion, the government should spend the expenditure on both categories. But health
care
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 should be the most prioritized sectors.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriches
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • stimulate tourism
  • mental health benefits
  • therapy
  • stress relief
  • sense of community
  • prioritizing
  • strong foundation
  • socio-economic development
  • disease prevention
  • life expectancy
  • employment opportunities
  • fundamental rights
  • healthcare
  • allocation
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