children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amount #money #adult #life #brough #parents

There is a controversial issue today related to whether children who grow up in poor

families

can handle the difficulties of

adult

life

or those who are raised by rich guardians. The purpose of

this

essay is to analyse both sides of the argument and

then

I will give my own perspective.

To begin

with,regarding the youth who are raised in moneyless

families

,there is no doubt they are able to manage the ordeals of

adult

life

.On account of their previous experiences in some difficult situations that they were in before.To justify

this

For instance

, take Ealing School in London as a clear example, they pointed out survey, that the number of youngsters who do not struggle with the burning of

adult

life

is in the majority.

This

is because it is something normal for them to be under pressure and they are carrying on these situations in order to have a good

life

On the other hand

,by dint of plenty of money,some children do not have any trouble to get their needs and fulfilling their potential.In spite of

this

, when they are brought out in society and face the burning of

life

,they are shocked.To elucidate

this

according to

the panel of experts assembled by the Ministry of Health in my country (Egypt). They revealed that the percentages of adults who are stuck in depression

as well as

anxiety are on the surge. Owing to their descent from wealthy

families

As a result

, their

families

offered everything they needed. The main justification for

this

is they have never been in a complex situation.Not only

this

but

also

they never work hard in order to meet their basic needs. In a nutshell, these arguments collectively persuade me that the children who live with wealthy

families

are not as clever as those who are brought up with poor

families

in order to manage the problems of

adult

life

because of the aforementioned clarifications and I agree with

Correct your spelling

this

the

thi

Correct your spelling

this

Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on Sun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent and clear structure throughout the essay, ensuring that paragraphs are logically connected and flow naturally from one to another.

coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion by presenting a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that effectively encapsulates your argument.

coherence cohesion

Develop main points with detailed explanations, additional evidence, and examples that are directly relevant to the topic. Avoid general statements without supporting details.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully responds to all parts of the task prompt. Avoid leaving the essay incomplete and ensure the opinion is clearly stated and consistent throughout the essay.

task achievement

Clarify and expand on your ideas to provide a comprehensive understanding of your perspective. Avoid ambiguity and make sure that sentences clearly communicate your argument.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and details related to the topic to substantiate your argument. Examples should be relevant and illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can be suggested?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology

Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.