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Band 4.5

Discuss the Advantages & Advantages of living & Working in a foreign country.

#country
Nowadays, most people work in a foreign
country
.
This
 essay will examine the advantages
such
 as learning a new
language
 and the disadvantages
likewise
 missing family and friends.
To begin
 with, people turn to work abroad because it provides workers with different experiences.
In other words
,dealing with hard situations alone in a different culture will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 individuals the knowledge and background that they need to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of experiences
Moreover
, living and
communicat
Correct your spelling
communicate
communicating
 with foreign citizens will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
acquire the
language
 faster because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a conversation daily with foreign citizens so each day they learned new vocabulary.
For instance
, a survey done in 2023, at Sultan Qaboos University showed that 60% of Omani workers learned their second
language
 faster when they
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 in a foreign
language
On the other hand
, spending time
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
 from family and friends
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the feeling of lonely.
While
 individuals feel comfortable in his or her community
due to
 they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 to share with
hem
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 the happiness and sadness moment.
For example
,
according to
 Oman
TV
Add a comma
,TV
show examples
 50% of immigrants had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
depression after 10 years from
thy
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 left their
country
.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 drawback is the cost of the life is high because they need to rent a flat and pay a lot for transportation .
Whereas
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 they had their own house and car. In conclusion,
although
 there are some benefits of working in a foreign
country
such
 as
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 an experience and
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
language
 ,there are some drawbacks
also
likewise
,missing family and the lives out said
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
country
 expensive.
Submitted by almqbalimaryam on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality education
  • high standard of living
  • diverse cultures
  • strong healthcare system
  • career advancement
  • safe and stable environment
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