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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
The given graph and bar chart
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 information about average daily temperatures and
rainfall
 in
Brisbane
 and Canada within a
year
.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
,
Brisbane
 is far heat in temperature than
Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 and
also
experincing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 high
rainfal
Correct your spelling
rainfall
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 and end of the
year
.
According to
 the data,
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
tempetarure
Correct your spelling
temperature
 of
Brisbane
 city
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 30
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 celcius
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
mininum
Correct your spelling
minimum
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 about 11
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 celcius in
mid-
Correct your spelling
mid-year
show examples
year
.
Moreover
, it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
rainfall
 which is 2 fold higher than
Canbera
 from January to April
while
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
Juni
Correct your spelling
June
show examples
 to September
rainfall
 number
getting
Verb problem
is
show examples
 lower than
Canbera
Change preposition
in Canbera
show examples
 city. In the
last
 two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 of the
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
rainfall
 duration is
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
getting higher.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
,
Canbera
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 far humid even
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest temperature
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 celcius
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
Juni
Correct your spelling
June
show examples
 to August. The average
rainfall
 is lower than
Brisbane
Change preposition
in Brisbane
show examples
;
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 in the
mid
Correct your spelling
middle
show examples
 of
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 the frequency
far
Add a missing verb
is far
show examples
 higher and stable, even though it
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 higher to 10 to 12 days
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 November to December.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rainfall, brisbane, year, canbera with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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