The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The diagram provides information about how
sugar
from
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
is made.
However
, juices are healthy
in
Change preposition
for
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our body and
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives vitamin C.
Overall
, there are seven steps in the whole process. Beginning with growing the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
, harvesting
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
two different
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways, crushing, purifying for safety,
evaporator
Replace the word
evaporating
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with high hot temperature, centrifuge and
finally
drying with cooling. In the first stage, growing the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
from 12 to 18 months. After that, harvesting using
truck
Correct article usage
a truck
show examples
and a human. Following, crushing
sugar
canes
with a small machine to trans it directly a
juice
and purifying the
juice
to be cleaned for folks when buying
while
using the limestone filter.
Moreover
, evaporation
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
juice
by heating
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
become syrup. In the final stage, is the centrifuge which can divide
sugar
crystals from syrup. On top of that, the
sugar
will dry and cool so it can be able to be ready to attend the
juice
liquid shops.
Submitted by hamoudisayyah on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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