Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

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There is a general consensus that the governmental subsidizing for retirement nursing

care

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is a worthy expenditure,

while

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some people believe that family members should do

this

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obligation. From my perspective, I still believe that adults should look after their grandparents. On the one hand, there are compelling stances on why nursing home payment is the government's responsibility.

Firstly

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, they argue that the elderly paid income taxes and healthcare insurance to the national budget, so the elderly deserve healthcare services after retirement. The

further

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reason is that the workforce in some core occupations,

such

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as scientists and teachers, have sacrificed for the community.

As a result

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, their contributions could justify their requirement and deserve to receive a better materialistic life.

Secondly

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, family members cannot provide some indispensable special assistance compared to a professional nurse.

For instance

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, from nurses' experience, they could understand some elderly' implicit demands, satisfying senior citizens in a comfortable way. A survey conducted in Japan's nursing centres indicated that retirees feel healthier and have better living standards after a month of hospitalisation.

On the other hand

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, some persuasive reasons beyond why family members should look after grandparents.

Initially

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, the foremost opinion is adults have to present their filial piety through their activities rather than nursing payment without relatives' attention. Taking

care

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of grandparents was a worthy lesson for their children, which represents reciprocity in any human relationship. Adult feel the honour of obligation when they nurture their parent, which is a moral norm in any society.

Consequently

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, these mentioned factors are a solid background to becoming a useful citizen.

Additionally

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while

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retirement homes can offer support, they may lack the personal connection and affection provided by family

care

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. Elderly individuals thrive in environments where they are surrounded by relatives and kinship concerns, especially those suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Family

care

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allows for a deeper understanding of the elderly's preferences and needs, fostering a more fulfilling and personalized caregiving experience.

To conclude

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, despite some justifiable impetus behind

this

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governmental responsibility includes better living standards.

However

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, I still believe that caring at home is better than in senior centres as parents could teach their children about moral norms and human behaviours

while

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expressing their filial piety through caring activities.

lenam2k1Sat Sep 23 2023

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grammar

Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'From my perspective, I still believe that adults should look after their grandparents' could be more smoothly phrased as 'In my view, it is the responsibility of family members to look after their elderly.'

writing style

Although your ideas are clear and comprehensive, enhancing the fluency and readability of your sentences will improve the essay. Try to use more varied sentence structures and avoid repetition.

argumentation

To make your argument stronger, consider addressing potential counterarguments more robustly. This will demonstrate your ability to consider other perspectives thoroughly.

content

The essay covers both perspectives thoroughly and provides a clear viewpoint, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting the main idea and summarizing the arguments effectively.

evidence

Specific examples, such as the survey conducted in Japan's nursing centres, are relevant and add weight to the argument.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

372 words

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In today's society, the media plays a significant role in shaping public opinion and influencing people's behavior. However, it also has its drawbacks. What problems can arise from the media's influence, and how can these issues be addressed?