IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph displays information about the common
temperature
Use synonyms
 in three different cities and different months. and the table shows the whole sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
 for them.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 in summer was reported in New
York
Use synonyms
 and the one for winter was reported for
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, New
York
Use synonyms
 has far more
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine on sunny days. In January, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 for
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was the highest, with almost 25.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 month, the typical
temperature
Use synonyms
 of New
York
Use synonyms
 and London was almost one-fifth and two-thirds of
Sydney
Use synonyms
 respectively. Between August and September, the common
temperature
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 picked at just below 30.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 of London made its peak at around 23,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 was reported in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 at approximately 13. New
York
Use synonyms
 had the highest total
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine with around 2,500
hours
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 London had the least with 1180
hours
Use synonyms
. The one reported for
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was a little less than New
York
Use synonyms
, with approximately 2400
hours
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, hours, york, sydney with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: