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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently, while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that when
companies
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 are recruiting new members, they should look for
people
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 who are innovative and able to
work
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 independently,
while
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 others contend that
people
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 who are cooperative and follow instructions should be the best consideration for the
companies
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the former one, yet teamworking is still a significant attribute of
companies
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. On the one hand, to improve a company's
research
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 and external development, the recruitment
team
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 should engage someone who is creative and capable to
work
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 on their own.
Firstly
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, one's creation can broaden
companies
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' businesses, especially in marketing expertise.
For example
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, film
companies
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 often hire marketing teams to promote new movies; by trying different strategies and innovations,
such
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 as hanging a billboard or inviting a celebrity for advertising, the
companies
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 can not only promote their movies but
also
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 bring more attention to the
companies
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 themselves.
On the other hand
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, workers who are able to
work
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 in a
team
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 and follow orders can help
companies
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' projects operate more smoothly.
For instance
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, employees who have these personalities often become a project manager. Since they always follow instructions, they keep every task finished on time. Through management,
research
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, or production, tasks can
also
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 be completed on schedule. In my opinion,
people
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 who are innovative and creative can lead
companies
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'
research
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 and development deeper and more broadly. More precisely, their
research
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 ability can enhance the
companies
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' competitiveness and even bring more fame and income.
However
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,
while
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 recruiting, the
companies
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 should not ignore
people
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 who are able to
work
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 in a
team
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. In conclusion, the recruitment
team
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 aim to find
people
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 who are innovative and capable to
work
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 independently to improve the company's competitiveness,
while
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 others find someone who is cooperative and follows orders, which can lead to a project being completed on time. From my perspective, creative employees are important to broaden
companies
Use synonyms
' business;
nevertheless
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, teamworking should not be neglected.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The second side is shorter and less full.
task response
Give more direct reasons for your opinion. Now your view is clear, but it needs more depth.
task response
Use examples that fit the point more closely. The film example is okay, but it feels a bit general.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each main idea in one clear line. Some ideas change too fast inside the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts connect, but a few feel forced.
coherence and cohesion
Make references clearer. For example, words like 'these personalities' are not very exact.
task response
You answered all parts of the question and gave your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and match the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear 4-paragraph structure, so it is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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