IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

what are the factors that cause stress and how to cope with stress?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Stress has been considered to be an issue of concern in many wealthy nations. It may be
due to
Linking Words
 various factors which could be solved easily.
This
Linking Words
 essay will indicate the factors that cause stress and how to deal with
this
Linking Words
 issue. To start with, pregnancy and becoming a parent are some of the biggest pressures that people have to face up with when they have a small family. Women have to suffer from giving birth and get a lot of pressure when the baby cries.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is reported that, in Vietnam, the rate of depression after childbirth is more than 33%.
In other words
Linking Words
, when adults don't have any knowledge about becoming parents, they have to research, face up to all the problems and spend money to raise their children
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, childcare, and education. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, parents have to share all the missions with each other, avoid falling out with another person and take a rest more. Another reason is that people cannot keep a balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life. At the office, they have to fulfil all the tasks in the
time
Use synonyms
 frame which makes people feel pressured. Sometimes, employees have to
work
Use synonyms
 day and night.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will have less
time
Use synonyms
 to relax and they can not control their
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
 pressure is a ubiquitous trend for freshmen or recent graduates because they have to face up with a lot of tasks without any knowledge. To deal with
this
Linking Words
 issue, workers have to make a plan before carrying out anything so that they can allocate their
time
Use synonyms
 easily. Even if, something goes wrong, workers should have a backup plan to execute the
work
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, worries can be handled easily. In conclusion, both government and individuals should do well to apply some of the outlined solutions, in order to reduce the effect of the strain. Prevention they say is better than cure.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the factors that cause stress and providing suggestions on how to cope with it. However, the ideas could be further developed and supported with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The logical structure is generally well-maintained. However, the supporting details could be better organized to improve the overall coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource. There is a range of vocabulary used appropriately. However, incorporating more advanced vocabulary and collocations could enhance the lexical quality.
grammatical range
The essay shows competent control of grammatical range and accuracy. There are occasional errors and occasional sentence structure issues. Paying attention to sentence structure and proofreading for grammar mistakes can further improve the grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stressors
  • overwhelmed
  • anxiety
  • burnout
  • manage
  • cope
  • balance
  • prioritize
  • relaxation techniques
  • de-stress
  • self-care
  • meditation
  • exercise
  • time management
  • support system
  • positive thinking
  • mindfulness
  • healthy habits
  • environmental factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: