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Band 6

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
Certain portions of society believe that they have the right to keep every single cent they earn without paying
taxes
 to the authorities. I strongly disagree with the statement because
,
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 governments completely depend on contribution income.
People
 work hard and earn money which ideally they like to keep with them for their selves. In today's ,world we can do nothing without money. The community has to spend what they have earned on basic amenities
such
 as food, water, shelter and medicinal needs. Not only that society has to use them for children's school needs including fees.The community tend to keep future plans and
therefore
, they are reluctant to pay duty as they need to invest the rest of the money for future needs.
For instance
 one of my colleagues who has a considerable wage from the tuition field is not paying
taxes
 and somehow he finds a way to bypass it. Because of the above reasons
people
 try to evasion from paying the state. Even, though the matter goes like
this
, governments fully or more than 90% depend upon tax wages.
States
 have to maintain infrastructure facilities
such
 as road development, uplift the comfortability of public transportation, maintain jails and defence systems, have to pay attention to public health systems and pay salaries to ministry workers. To accomplish those requirements, it's reasonable to make
people
 pay a portion of their income as
taxes
. More
states
 are onus to use the tax earnings properly and in well well-planned method unless
people
 are demotivated to pay longer. Not only that
states
 should announce a flexible structure of tax taking.
For example
, research interviewers found that
people
 in developed countries are willing to pay
taxes
 as they are fully satisfied with the authority.
To sum up
, as we are using public facilities at any stage of our life we drastically bond to pay
taxes
 to the government. If it is not future generations won't be able to have those common resources.
However
,
states
also
 should take the responsibility of proper handling of the income. So, I strongly believe that as a community we have the responsibility to put our hands on to protect what we have now. The easiest way for
that is
 to pay
taxes
 to protect them or modify them for a hundred years more.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance to the topic.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported but there are some instances where the examples could be more relevant to the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is adequate, but may benefit from reorganization for better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, but there is room for improvement in providing more specific and relevant examples.
lexical resource
The essay shows a fairly good range of vocabulary, but with some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing.
grammatical range
There are noticeable errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, and word choice. Accuracy and complexity could be improved.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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