IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about how many European citizens of various age groups frequently went to the gym from 1990 to 2010.

The chart below gives information about how many European citizens of various age groups frequently went to the gym from 1990 to 2010.
#information #european #citizens #age #groups #gym
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided diagram presents data on the participation of four different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in Europe in
gym
Use synonyms
 attendance, at least once a month, from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the percentage of
gym
Use synonyms
 visits over the three-decade period between 1990 and 2010. In 1990, individuals aged 25 to 34 exhibited the highest likelihood of visiting the
gym
Use synonyms
 within a month.
However
Linking Words
, by 1998, the 18-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 surpassed the 25-34
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in terms of
gym
Use synonyms
 attendance, and
this
Linking Words
 trend continued
thereafter
Linking Words
. The percentage of
gym
Use synonyms
 participation among the 18-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 reached its peak in 2006.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it experienced a significant decline until 2008 before starting to rise again. Despite these fluctuations, the 18-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 remained the most frequent visitors to the
gym
Use synonyms
 throughout the entire period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both of the elderly
age
Use synonyms
 groups saw a steady increase in
gym
Use synonyms
 presence over the years.
However
Linking Words
, by the end of 2010, their popularity ranking had not changed compared to 1990.
Submitted by hedoyeraisy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, gym, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: