Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people suppose that good
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
should be taught to children by
parents
,
while
others claim that creating an affable kid is a
resbonsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of school. In my opinion,
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
generation at home should construct the background of a child in order to be
well mannered
Add a hyphen
well-mannered
show examples
.
However
, school have an impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
a child's social responsibility and other
etiqette
Correct your spelling
etiquette
rules. The following essay points out both views. To start with, to be a good citizen of a country
parents
should put a base of good manners for their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
it was proven by scientists that, about 60% of our behaving ways
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
of a child's discipline. As an example, when someone from
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
generation
visit
Change the verb form
visits
show examples
their house,
parents
should always be polite towards them regarding
to show
Change the verb form
showing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good manner
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
for children.
Hence
, these small demonstrations will always leave positive
foot-prints
Correct your spelling
footprints
show examples
in a young
ones
Change noun form
one's
show examples
mind.
Whereas
other people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
argue that should raise students and teach
how
Correct pronoun usage
them how
show examples
to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. It can give some qualities to students
such
as responsibility or managing time in its
cirriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
.
For instance
, there are subjects like moral science in private schools, that
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
etiquette
manners
Correct word choice
and manners
show examples
.
Thus
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
makes civility background stronger by teaching additional skills. To put it in a nutshell, the foundation of a good individual in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be laid by the
parents
. So, teachers can teach points of being well mannered,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
parents
are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who can show them by giving example themselves.
Submitted by shams.aliyeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some level of coherence and cohesion due to the presence of logical structure and introduction and conclusion. However, the main points are not well supported, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The response covers the task to a certain extent. It presents some clear ideas but lacks specificity and relevant examples. More focused and comprehensive ideas with specific examples are needed to improve task achievement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: