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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that elementary and high school students should be taught how to manage money because it is an important life skill. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #school #students #money #life #skill
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I strongly
,
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apply
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 agree that high
school
Use synonyms
 students should be taught how to manage
money
Use synonyms
 because in my own
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is an important life skill but there are even some disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
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this
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. If
a
Change the article
an
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intitution
Correct your spelling
institution
will teach
Wrong verb form
teaches
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 students how to save
money
Use synonyms
then
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public
Add an article
the public
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 will get
so
Rephrase
apply
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many advantages from it. Children will learn how to spend
money
Use synonyms
then
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 they will get so knowledge about it.
As nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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socity
Correct your spelling
society
is fully
depend
Replace the word
dependent
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 on
money
Use synonyms
. Learning about
manage
Replace the word
management
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 have great importance in
people
Change noun form
people's
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 life.
For example
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, if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
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get information about managing about saving
money
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 that can help
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
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helping others, and he or she will even give knowledge to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 kids
Rephrase
apply
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also
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.
Hence
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, high
school
Use synonyms
 students should be taught how to manage
money
Use synonyms
. As every coin have two sides in
Correct article usage
the same
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same
Correct your spelling
some
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ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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 there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 some drawback
for
Change preposition
to
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this kinds
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of subject. Even for some people it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time.
However
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, some people
fill
Verb problem
feel
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boring
Correct word choice
bored
show examples
.
This
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types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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 of still
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 even be
teach
Change the form of the verb
taught
show examples
 by
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 parents even.
This
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types
Change the noun form
type
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subject
Change preposition
of subject
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 should be
maindetary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
.
For example
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, if a student
is having
Wrong verb form
has
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knowleghe
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about saving
money
Use synonyms
.
Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
show examples
 should teach a nation about things. Kisa should get
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
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 to select
subject
Add an article
the subject
a subject
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 in which they are
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
.
Parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
 should teach
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 about the knowledge of basic
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be helpful to
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 days.
To conclude
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, I agree that high
school
Use synonyms
 should be taught to save
money
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, in my own opinion, saving
money
Use synonyms
as well as
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manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 important life skill.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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