IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctica #people #visit
There is no doubt that our planet is a very interesting place that does not run out of new areas to explore. Nowadays, there are an increasing number of
people
 going to sites with harsh conditions like the Sahara desert or Antarctica. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the possible benefits and drawbacks
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 statement. Some
people
 would argue that visiting
such
 places can have a lot of advantages,
such
 as making tourists more aware of other parts of the world.
As a result
, the
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 might become more willing to help citizens in
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 areas.
Moreover
, these hard atmospheres can make visitors more adaptable and encourage them to learn loads of new skills that may help them in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lives.
For instance
, if more
people
 continued to be more courageous and visit these sites, they would be more prepared to handle different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 quickly.
However
, others may argue that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits of what they would call
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
unnecessarily
 dangerous tourism.
For example
, going to these areas with difficult conditions can put the lives of tourists
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk. Travel should be a fun activity
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 a risky one, as tourists could be more liable to theft and abduction for ransom.
Furthermore
, there are many beautiful places waiting for
people
 to visit them. In conclusion,
although
 there are many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 visiting places with difficult conditions,
this
also
 comes with huge risks.
Submitted by ahmedelatar363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: