IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel like it should be purely optional. Discuss both these opposing views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #part #school #life #children
Some people argue that
sports
 should be an integral part of school life for children,
while
 others believe it should be optional.
While
 I recognize the importance of allowing
students
 to choose their academic
subjects
 based on their interests and
career
 goals, I firmly believe that
sports
 should be mandatory in educational institutions because they play a crucial role in comprehensive
development
. It is widely accepted that
students
 should have the freedom to choose their academic
subjects
 based on their preferences and
career
 aspirations. Youngsters today often begin planning their future careers at an early age, leading them to select specific
subjects
 that align with their goals.
For instance
, those aspiring to become engineers may not require in-depth knowledge of humanities, just as those pursuing a
career
 in the arts may not need an extensive understanding of biology.
However
, physical education and
sports
-related disciplines are essential for all
students
, irrespective of their chosen
career
 paths. First and foremost, engaging in physical activities from a young age fosters comprehensive
development
.
Sports
 contribute to the acquisition of proper posture, muscle
development
, enhanced body control, coordination, and ultimately, improved self-confidence.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in the USA found that
students
 who participated in
sports
 activities alongside their academic studies performed 90% better in final exams compared to those who did not. In conclusion,
while
 the choice of academic
subjects
 should remain optional,
sports
 and physical education should be compulsory in educational curricula. They play a vital role in the holistic
development
 of children and provide numerous benefits that extend beyond the classroom.
Submitted by nikola.14gru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: