IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself
– explain the situation
– say what action you would like the company to take

#car #company #air #conditioner #week #situation #action
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Dear Symond, I hope
this
 email finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to share the experiences that I faced
last
 week after taking a
car
 rental service from your company. First and foremost, I am Mamun Khan from Dhaka and have been working in a multinational company. As a part of our office program,
last
 week I rented a 7-seater
car
 for a full day to travel from Dhaka to Feni.
Although
 the
overall
 services were excellent including the behavior of the driver and the speedy Wi-Fi connection inside the
car
. But the air conditioning system was not functional which is why it was really difficult for us to sit inside the vehicle as the outside temperature was terrible.
However
, I would like to suggest some ideas to avoid
this
 kind of situation in the future.
Firstly
, the driver may check the
overall
 parts of the
car
, especially the air conditioning system before
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 anywhere.
Additionally
, you may ensure the periodical inspection of
this
car
 through an expert technician. I hope you will like the above-mentioned suggestions and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, Mark Russell
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets the context for the reader, and mention the main purpose of the letter in the opening paragraph.
Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single point. However, it's important to provide more elaborate detail when describing the core issue to ensure complete response to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to manage the progression from one idea to the next, ensuring that the letter flows smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the closing of the letter contains a clear statement of the desired outcome or action you expect from the company.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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