IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table shows the information of total health expenditure per capita in five countries in 2019.

The table shows the information of total health expenditure per capita in five countries in 2019.
#information #health #expenditure #capita #five #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The supplied table chart gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about total health
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 in five countries namely Australia, Germany,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 and The United
Use synonyms
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
 in 2019. The first glance at the chart , it can be clearly seen that The United
States
Use synonyms
 had spent
higher
Add an article
the higher
a higher
show examples
 amount of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 department
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four countries which was around 11
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 dollars. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 Germany spent around half of the money that
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 spent which was 6,646 dollars.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 total expense of Japan and the UK was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 which was 4,823 and 4,652 respectively. The total expenditure of Australia was almost two times less than The
Unites
Replace the word
United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
 around 5,187 dollars in
surveyed
Correct article usage
the surveyed
show examples
 year.
To conclude
Linking Words
, we can see that The United
States
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
highest
Correct word choice
the most
show examples
 money on
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 sector
whereas
Linking Words
 Australia's total expense was least
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all other countries.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words states with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: