IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe it is a waste of school time. To what extent do you agree?

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It is irrefutable that cooking is a fundamental life skill that enables individuals to prepare nutritious meals and fostering self-sufficiency and health. It is often believed that
food
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 preparation training should be started in school for both boys and girls,
whereas
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 others are not in
this
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 favour. I completely agree with
this
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 statement, and give my point of view in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous reasons why many are in favour of
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, learning cooking
skills
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 in school empowers children to become more independent, whether they are in college or starting their own families.
Secondly
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, they can handle situations in emergencies or disasters, when access to prepared
food
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 may be limited.
For example
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, nowadays, the majority of parents tend to be engaged with their work. if kids have cooking
skills
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, they can cook and eat the meal by themselves and even help their parents.
In addition
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 to
this
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, many believed that
instead
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 of listening to parents, children tend to listen to their teachers and obey them.
Consequently
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, learning culinary
skills
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 from their teachers makes them more likely to develop and maintain healthy eating habits. To illustrate, eating healthy
food
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 is more important for all, whether it is boy or girl because it provides nutrients and minerals for children's
overall
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 development.
Furthermore
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, in
this
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 modern era, having too many subjects and activities in the school curriculum can make it hard for students to feel stress-free, but learning cooking
skills
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 can provide them with a refreshing and enjoyable experience.
To conclude
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,
although
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 some argue that teaching cooking
skills
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 in schools is a waste of time, it has numerous benefits
such
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 as kids becoming more independent, helping someone in emergencies by providing
food
Use synonyms
, and adopting healthy eating habits.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It briefly mentions the advantages of teaching cooking skills in schools, but it does not present any counterarguments or discuss the opposing viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The sentences and ideas are not well-structured, leading to a lack of clarity in the overall message. Consider organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is satisfactory, with a range of vocabulary used appropriately. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to improve the flow of ideas.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is sufficient, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some errors in verb tense consistency and agreement. Proofreading the essay and correcting these mistakes will enhance the overall clarity of the writing.
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