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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Students in university education should become a specialist in one subject rather than develop a wider range of different subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The topic of whether
students
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 in university education should study one subject
instead
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 of various
subjects
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 has been a hot issue. Considering career paths for individuals and the economy of
society
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, I totally disagree with
this
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 idea.
Firstly
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, the fact that career development for the person can be promoted indicates that
students
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 are involved in different
subjects
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. To be more specific, with the advancement of
society
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, people with multiple abilities are urgently needed in workplaces compared with those who specialise in one particular area.
For example
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, when a leader chooses who should be promoted in the workplace, interdisciplinary talent is more likely to be the first candidate selected
due to
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 their ability to resolve complex problems.
However
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, if
students
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 only focus on a specific knowledge, their career development will be limited
due to
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 the fact that knowledge in a specific field will eventually become outdated.
Secondly
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,
students
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 should learn multiple
subjects
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 since the economy for
society
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 can be promoted.
In other words
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, the capacity to innovate or create for
students
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 can be developed, which favours the research and development of new products and services, facilitating economic growth.
Furthermore
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, diversified skill cultivation is
also
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 beneficial for the advancement of diversified industries, which helps resist economic recession and contribute to economic progress.
Consequently
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, the cultivation of multiple disciplines for
students
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 can be a driving force for the improvement of the economy. In conclusion, encouraging
students
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 to explore a multitude of
subjects
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 not only enhances their individual potential but
also
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 plays a pivotal role in advancing the economic well-being of
society
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. It is through
this
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 comprehensive education that we pave the way for a brighter future, one where the synergy of diverse knowledge and skills propels us forward.

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task achievement
Try to provide a thesis statement expressing your clear position on the topic in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically connected within paragraphs and across the whole essay.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct any minor errors.
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