IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that the consequence of making a profit from tourism is the deterioration of
culture
whereas
 others assume that
culture
 will be preserved
due to
 many benefits of tourism.
This
 writer partly agrees that the local customs and stunning characteristics of the locality will be preserved because residents have a wide range of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. On the one hand, earning cash from foreigners requires an abundance of kinds of stuff like better infrastructure, up-to-date devices and well-communicated tour guides. So it is easy to understand that the locals are extremely close to their
culture
 and renowned destinations.
As a consequence
, when the visitors get to know about the horror and myths in the local area, they will keep in mind that it is good to introduce to their friends and families. Take a realistic example in Ho Chi Minh City, hospitable citizens are likely to talk and communicate with people who have just taken off their journey in that land.
On the other hand
, increasing amount of guests and visitors may be an issue because it causes environmental pollution. Bearing in mind that a higher proportion of foreigners can indirectly raise the volume of litter, artificial water bottles. The top reason is the requirement for food, drinks is extremely high so the bad-tempered people have no intention of protecting the environment. Take an example in Thailand, a national park in a well-known tourist attraction has been closed
currently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
according to
 the manager. From my perspective, money talks. So many touristy destinations pay no attention to their environmental issues and
also
 neglect the bad results they bring back.
Moreover
, the positive thing is that resident can maintain their horizons about the
culture
, which is the main factor that keeps its regulation. It can be expanded and travelling lovers around the world can dig around it.
To sum up
, I strongly believe that people should invest in modern technology which is friendly to the environment.
Hence
this
 would prevent the deterioration of
culture
 and inspire more and more foreigners to experience once here.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: