IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently,
culture
 has become one of the most vital parts of
tourism
 because it can be protected by some strict rules from governments and could provide enormous income for businesses too.
However
, some contrasting arguments argue that using ethos in
tourism
 just makes it transform into a worse shape and lose its value. In
this
 writer’s opinion,
tourism
 is the only way that could conserve
culture
, despite how much criticism and negative judgments there are. Obviously, there is a recognition that most of the harmful effects on the worth of
culture
 have their origins in the attitude of tourists. More distinctly, when a tourist attraction becomes famous and involves history or heritage, a huge number of visitors will travel to it, and the authorities of
this
 location cannot control completely everything tourists do.
As a result
, more and more social evil will emerge,
such
 as graffiti and destroying structures.
For example
, at Mount Rushmore, more than 50% of
this
 sculpture was damaged by the majority of visitors.
On the other hand
, preserving
culture
 through
tourism
 is the most effective and beneficial for administration
due to
 its convenience and fame.
Firstly
, when governments decide to take
culture
 seriously through some services, it will help citizens improve their awareness and contribute to defending it.
Secondly
, by advertising its cultural and regional images to
tourism
,
this
 country could confirm its prestige around the world, and
as a consequence
, it would grow its economy through the income from
tourism
.
Finally
, it has a meaningful contribution to the environment, which is getting worse and worse, so the Earth will be permanent. In conclusion, the conservation of
culture
 will be most effective when it has a touristic method owing to its commercial and environmental advantages.
Moreover
,
this
 image of
this
 country will symbolize the value of humans.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: