IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether
tourism
Use synonyms
 is considered a solution to prevent the destruction of
culture
Use synonyms
 or uses
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 as an earning tool is a highly controversial discussion. The writer contends that
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays a potential role in preserving
culture
Use synonyms
 because of community empowerment despite those who assume making a profit is the priority of
tourism
Use synonyms
. There is a wide assumption that the
culture
Use synonyms
 is demolished
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of the increasing money worth. By overworking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 leads to negative changes in the
culture
Use synonyms
, ranging from the humans to their own environment. Taking the act of littering,
for instance
Linking Words
, most cultures
are destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 beauty
due to
Linking Words
 the uncontrolled numbers of tourists, especially individuals who aren’t aware of sheltering it but worsen it by dropping garbage or demolishing it without thinking.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has a crucial role in protecting the tradition thanks to their positive campaign. Being provided with the basic knowledge, tourists can enhance their awareness about the conservation of the
culture
Use synonyms
 and widen their horizons with the variety of activities through experiencing these cultures. So many places escape from being ruined thanks to the development of
tourism
Use synonyms
 effect in that tradition. In brief,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can be observed as a double-edged sword by both sheltering and destroying the traditional value.
However
Linking Words
, the act of protection can outweigh the action of wrecking the
culture
Use synonyms
 when observing
tourism
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: