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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. •In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? • Is this a positive or negative development

#people #technology #•in #relationships #development
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In today's world communication of
people
Use synonyms
 has changed dramatically because of new technology. One of the main sources of chatting nowadays is social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 and it can badly
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 well
being
Verb problem
well-being
show examples
. One of the widely discussed topics nowadays is social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 which enable
people
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 to interact
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the world,
therefore
Linking Words
 it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
people
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 to publish stories and photos which play a crucial part in social
Use synonyms
medias
Change to a genitive case
media's
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 technology.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in today's
world
Add a comma
,world
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use it to make
a new friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
new friends
a new friend
show examples
 or to be informed as be informed nowadays is essential.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes the social
Use synonyms
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 stupid or just do not work and to prevent it young generation should put a lot of effort to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of work
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can prevent
people
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 from hectic
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 as they will
spent
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spend
show examples
 more time on social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 can disturb
people
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's life as they can negatively
impacted
Change the verb form
be impacted
impact
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health. A primary example of
this
Linking Words
 is children from the USA who spend all of their time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 which
as a result
Linking Words
obtained
Verb problem
have
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 a headache. Another impact
it
Remove the pronoun
apply
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is mental health as it
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial part in human well being if mental health damaged,
people
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's life will be close to death. Recent research found that over half of teenagers had
a mental problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
mental problems
a mental problem
show examples
 because of using
infinitiately
Correct your spelling
infinitely
 social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram ,
therefore
Linking Words
 20 % of children
was died
Change to the active voice
died
has died
show examples
. In conclusion, there are several ways to interact with
people
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 ,
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Instagram, VK and others which
people
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 still thinking that it might be useful
to
Change preposition
in
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their
Change the word
the
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 future.
However
Linking Words
,
how
Correct word choice
as
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 I said
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 can only bring
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on well- being and I hope that
people
Use synonyms
 will use them less in the future.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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