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Band 4

Some people think that zoos are cruel .to what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #zoos
It is no doubt true that a few masses opine that zoological
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 ruthless nowadays.
This
 essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
 statement because
zoos
 have
unnatural
Add an article
an unnatural
the unnatural
show examples
 and stressful environment for the fauna.
Comming
Correct your spelling
Coming
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the first account ,
Animals
 are forced to live
artificial
Change preposition
in artificial
show examples
 ,stressful and boring
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
show examples
 leading to a lack of mental and physical stimulation.
For instance
, A study by
bristol university
Correct your spelling
Bristol University
show examples
 found that many
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
zoos
 fail to provide
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 natural climate
as a result
carnivore
Fix the agreement mistake
carnivores
show examples
 who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy are failing to progress in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 surroundings.
Therefore
, folks believe that wildlife park is not sufficient place for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pets.
On the other hand
, Zookeepers
also
 often may neglect their healthcare needs.
As a result
,
Many
Fix capitalization
many
show examples
animals
 at
zoos
 may die
prematuely
Correct your spelling
prematurely
 from stress or illness.
In addition
,
Animals
 are removed from their natural habitats.
Consequently
, when they do not interact with
other animal
Change the wording
another animal
other animals
show examples
,
this
 thing can lead to worse conditions
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
For example
, In the United state of
Add an article
the kingdom
show examples
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
, some scientists showed that in Bronx
zoo
Capitalize word
Zoo
show examples
, where petkeepers do not focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that seventy
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
animals
Change preposition
of animals
show examples
 have died.
To conclude
, I acknowledge with
this
 assurance
zoos
 have
savge
Correct your spelling
savages
 for the
animals
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it bestows
unusal
Correct your spelling
unusual
 territory
as well as
giving worry
Replace the word
gives a dangerous
show examples
 environment to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living things
hence
, mortality
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 are increasing day by day.
Submitted by tanwarneha678 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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