In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why this might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #case #situation

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People

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in some countries believe that it is essential to be an owner of a property rather than a renter.

This

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essay will discuss the rationale behind

this

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belief and argue that the statement is disadvantageous for some groups of

people

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. In many countries around the world, owning a home is seen as a sign of economic stability. Many

people

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believe that having property means that a person has earned sufficient money to live comfortably.

Such

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a situation is important , especially for

people

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who live in Asian countries,

such

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as China, Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines. To cite an example, in Indonesia, one of the prerequisites for parents to allow their daughters to get married is their future husbands must be financially stable. Having a

house

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or an apartment is one of the obvious indicators.

As a consequence

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, Indonesians, especially men, work really hard in order to achieve

this

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goal.

While

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it is true that the ability to buy a

house

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indicates a comfortable life, the current economic situation in the world is not in favour of

this

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belief. The price of a property is generally extremely high and many

people

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cannot afford to purchase a

house

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For instance

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, in a research published by a think-tank in Indonesia, the majority of office workers in Jakarta would not be able to buy a landed

house

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in the Jakarta area because its price has reached billions of rupiah.

People

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who live in Jakarta have preferred to rent houses or apartments

due to

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this

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circumstance.

Consequently

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, Jakartans are perceived as not living an ideal life. In summary, the belief that it is crucial to own a home is rooted in an economic perspective.

However

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such

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a notion has created a negative impact for many because they are not able to live a life that fulfils society's

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

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Submitted by tnindrasetiawan on Sun Nov 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

You should ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, linking them clearly to the main topic. Transitions could be smoother to enhance the logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Both an introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, your conclusion could restate your main points more clearly, effectively summarizing the arguments made throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that main points are developed further. While you have presented some support for your arguments, more detail and explanation could strengthen your position.

task achievement

Your response to the task is adequate as you have addressed both parts of the question. Nonetheless, to increase your score, make sure you equally develop both parts: the reason for the importance placed on home ownership and your opinion as to whether it is positive or negative.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear but could be expressed more comprehensively. Aim to delve deeper into the topic by providing more in-depth analysis and explanation of the points you are making.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples to support your ideas, which is commendable. Ensure these examples are fully integrated into your argument, demonstrating precisely how they illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why this might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Your opinion

In modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing food, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday.write a letter to your friend

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.