Some people think although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Controversy surrounds the issue of whether the nations with longer working
time
are monetary thriving. I completely agree with
this
idea and I do believe they can benefit from prolonging their working
time
but they would suffer from some social consequences. On the one hand, extending working
time
brings a few advantages economically.
To begin
with, abundant recruiters who work desperately and input concentration industriously will receive considerable profits. With
companies
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company's
companies'
show examples
sake and interest soaring bring forth a hefty sum of tax, revenue which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to monetarily success in an efficient manner.
Furthermore
, it is discernible that long average working hours
act as
Verb problem
play
show examples
a
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an
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active role, sustaining a country’s competitive power, motivating national potentiality,
provoking
Correct word choice
and provoking
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countless civics focus on their lives per se
instead
of becoming humdrum.
Those
Correct pronoun usage
These
show examples
dedication
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dedications
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fuel an unpredictable mushrooming for a domain.
On the contrary
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sustaining office
time
always
triggering
Wrong verb form
triggers
show examples
for series of perilous
illness
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illnesses
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such
as heart
diseases
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disease
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, obesity, depression or even perishing. As demonstrated by
high
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a high
the high
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level of domestic strain from children,
mate
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mates
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and work strain from enterprise or commercial competition those
scenario
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scenarios
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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society
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society's
show examples
stability and demolish collective pillars of mutual spirit.
Additionally
, persistent office
period
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periods
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aggravate
internal
Correct article usage
the internal
show examples
rival
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rivals
show examples
of a country. With
proliferation
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the proliferation
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of
wage
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wages
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and personal income, people have superior purchasing capabilities which inevitably accompanies unaffordable prices and expensive items. More significantly, those
alters
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alter
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may
heavy
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have heavy
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downscale hierarchy
burden
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burdens
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,
such
as abode or accommodation rent and living
cost
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costs
show examples
. In a nutshell, the authority concerned ought to standardize
people
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people's
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working
time
and strike the balance between the job and leisure
time
. ….
Submitted by 915818382 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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