Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Dicuss both sides and give your own opinion

While

Linking Words

it is thought by some individuals that

culture

Use synonyms

will

be collapsed

Wrong verb form

collapse

show examples

if it is used for financial improvement and earning income, others take

tourism

Use synonyms

into account that it is the only

way

Use synonyms

of protecting

culture

Use synonyms

because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more and more

people

Use synonyms

around the world will experience and examine it which motivate the local residents to preserve their cultures.

This

Linking Words

writer

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

agrees with the latter opinion because it is important to publicize our

culture

Use synonyms

to everyone around the world for

tourism

Use synonyms

in order to get more income to upgrade it.

To begin

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others consider that

tourism

Use synonyms

is the only

way

Use synonyms

of preserving

culture

Use synonyms

, some

people

Use synonyms

think that it will be ruined if it is used for getting proceeds.

This

Linking Words

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is concerned that the proceeds and budgets might be taken away by some greedy individuals.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it can be observed that the

culture

Use synonyms

might be vandalized by other

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, it is recorded that

culture

Use synonyms

is becoming

demolised

Correct your spelling

demolished

demoralised

by aggressive

people

Use synonyms

, young

people

Use synonyms

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

up over 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Vietnam.

Secondly

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

some citizens think it will be ruined if it is used for

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

, others

considered

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

that the only

way

Use synonyms

to keep

culture

Use synonyms

from harm is

tourism

Use synonyms

. By

way

Use synonyms

of explanation, it can be seen that

tourism

Use synonyms

will help the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

to get more opportunities to improve the

culture

Use synonyms

by using the proceeds to invest.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is

appearant

Correct your spelling

apparent

that it will get more popular because

tourism

Use synonyms

expands tourist's knowledge about the

culture

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, though Thailand

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

tourist attractions,

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

decided to publicize

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

to everyone around the world to get wealthy and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

improve

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

. Taking everything into consideration,

this

Linking Words

writer agrees with the latter opinion because it is important to expand everyone's knowledge about the

culture

Use synonyms

in order to make it more popular and the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

will get more income which motivates them to improve their

culture

Use synonyms

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Sep 26, 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commodification
Authenticity
Cultural erosion
Global culture
Heritage sites
Traditional festivals
Preservation
Cultural exchange
Sustainable practices
Mutual understanding

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