Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

In today's world, parents are focused on helping their
children
to succeed in different aspects of their lives and they are working hard to achieve
this
. There are several reasons behind
this
trend and I believe it would help
children
to develop fast as they grow older. In
this
,essay I will discuss the reasons and the benefits  behind
this
attitude.   On the one hand, there are several arguments that explain the pressure on the parents themselves that forces them to push their offspring to succeed. First of all, the competition to secure a seat in a well-known school could need a long preparation that requires months,
for
this
reason, caregivers could force their
children
to study at home and could
also
let them go to private tutorials just to pass an interview to get registered at a school. There are other clues than education that caregivers are focusing on ,
such
as programming, music and art
this
could help young people to develop fine skills that open different doors and give them different choices in the
future
.  
On the other hand
, parents understand that
this
pressure may annoy
children
but it will definitely benefit them in the
future
.I believe
this
is a positive development for two reasons, first of all,
children
could secure a better
future
because they gain a good education and unique fine skills, as a ,result it would open new opportunities.
Moreover
, well-educated people could find numerous jobs with a high rate of offers that secure their
future
and stabilise their careers. In conclusion, education and art have a great benefit on
children
's development and they secure their
future
,I believe that
children
may not understand the pressure at a young age but they will thank their mother and father one day.
Submitted by liasmart41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument and flows logically from one to another.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: