Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#life #improvements #people’s #people #lives

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Modernization has really shaped the living style of today's

people

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by giving them access to technology ,

however

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even after owning technological gadgets, they are still depressed in life and I totally agree with

this

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statement. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will explain my reasons for agreeing with relevant examples. The most prominent factor of

people

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's dismay these days is the social media. It has overtaken productive time, I mean

people

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spend hours watching content that does not even help them in real-life productivity.

For example

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, scrolling the reels on Instagram not only wastes valuable time but

also

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puts peer pressure on minds to follow trends

such

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as buying the latest iPhone, wearing expensive dresses, showing off aesthetic lifestyles and much more.

Therefore

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, when folks compare their life with content creators, they feel unhappy. Another important point to mention is eating instant

food

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. It includes buying quick-made processed

food

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either from fast

food

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chains or from grocery stores to cook later.

This

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is because

people

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do not want to spend much time on cooking but they

also

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do not realise how unhealthy it is to eat packed

food

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This

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can be explained by a good example of eating from McDonald's and Tim Hortons, these fast

food

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restaurants produce the most unhealthy

food

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ever. Buying bagels and muffins from them is like inviting disease as they use the same oil for a whole week and fry everything. So,

people

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are sad because they are not fit.

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, undoubtedly technological era has drastically raised the way of human living by providing comfort in every possible aspect of life. That's said these improvements

also

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brought dismal in individuals' lives. I would say there is not danger in using technical devices but in a limit.

Submitted by manubadial on Tue Sep 26 2023

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language

The essay has several grammar and punctuation errors. The vocabulary and sentence structure need improvement for a more coherent flow of ideas. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use more diverse vocabulary to convey your points.

content

The response addresses some aspects of the prompt, but the supporting arguments lack depth and clarity. Develop your ideas more fully and provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack a clear outline of the essay's structure. Work on creating a more logical and cohesive flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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