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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population
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While
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 some individuals think that better
resources
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 should be spent on protecting wild
animals
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 others, including myself, think that those would be better used for the human
population
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. In
this
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 essay i will discuss both sides and give my own opinion. On one hand
resources
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 would better be spent on protecting wild
animals
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. One argument for
this
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 is that study wild
animals
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 can lead to advancements in medicine, agriculture and other fields. Their unique adaptations and genetic diversity hold vast potential for scientific discovery.
For instance
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: by developing in medicine
people
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 can create new vaccine for dangerous illnesses or exploring agriculture be using wild
animals
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 can help us to open something new.
On the other hand
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resources
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 should better be used for the human
population
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. With a growing human
population
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 it is necessary to focus
resources
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 on meeting the needs of growing
population
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 particularly in developing countries.
For example
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: big country
such
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 as Russia, China should develop each site of their territory since it is essential and every and everyone should be in a good condition. It leads to
people
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 be more positive and good about their country. From my point of view, i would say that it should better be spent on protecting wild
animals
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. Since with exploring them we create and open something new for
people
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. World without them is empty and wild
animals
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 help us to live here. In conclusion, by protecting
animals
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 we can learn something new and explore it,
while
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 spending
resources
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 on
population
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 just help us to keep many
people
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 in good conditions.
Submitted by Amir Rustamov on

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task achievement
Expand on the main points with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is clearly divided into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Pay attention to the clarity and accuracy of language to avoid misunderstandings.
task achievement
Provide more balanced coverage of both viewpoints to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents your stance.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support ideas, demonstrating an effort to ground arguments in real-world contexts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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