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Band 6.5

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population
While
 some individuals think that better
resources
 should be spent on protecting wild
animals
 others, including myself, think that those would be better used for the human
population
. In
this
 essay i will discuss both sides and give my own opinion. On one hand
resources
 would better be spent on protecting wild
animals
. One argument for
this
 is that study wild
animals
 can lead to advancements in medicine, agriculture and other fields. Their unique adaptations and genetic diversity hold vast potential for scientific discovery.
For instance
: by developing in medicine
people
 can create new vaccine for dangerous illnesses or exploring agriculture be using wild
animals
 can help us to open something new.
On the other hand
resources
 should better be used for the human
population
. With a growing human
population
 it is necessary to focus
resources
 on meeting the needs of growing
population
 particularly in developing countries.
For example
: big country
such
 as Russia, China should develop each site of their territory since it is essential and every and everyone should be in a good condition. It leads to
people
 be more positive and good about their country. From my point of view, i would say that it should better be spent on protecting wild
animals
. Since with exploring them we create and open something new for
people
. World without them is empty and wild
animals
 help us to live here. In conclusion, by protecting
animals
 we can learn something new and explore it,
while
 spending
resources
 on
population
 just help us to keep many
people
 in good conditions.
Submitted by Amir Rustamov on

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task achievement
Expand on the main points with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is clearly divided into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Pay attention to the clarity and accuracy of language to avoid misunderstandings.
task achievement
Provide more balanced coverage of both viewpoints to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents your stance.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion summarizes the main points and restates your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support ideas, demonstrating an effort to ground arguments in real-world contexts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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