Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is widely believed that
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
profit
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
culture
,
while
other believe that
tourism
funds is very helpful to keep the
culture
save
Replace the word
safe
show examples
. Personally,
Tourism
is a great way to protect the
culture
of any country,
hawever
Correct your spelling
however
,
this
essay will consider that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the
folowing
Correct your spelling
following
essay. On the one hand,
Culture
nowadays
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
crucial widely, people become
obssesed
Correct your spelling
obsessed
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
travelling and exploring new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
, but some
countries
exploit
culture
to generate more
money
.
Hence
,
Tourism
Add an article
the Tourism
show examples
sector is lucrative, in
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
, some
countries
invest
this
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other things, they aren't developing their
culture
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
a dwindling
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
culture
.
For example
,
French
Replace the word
France
show examples
has many
tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
seasonally, it generate
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount of
money
. but their
culture
disappear
Change the verb form
disappears
show examples
year by year.
On the other hand
, It can be clearly seen that the whole
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own
culture
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most people endeavor to discover new places and cultures, so it is
logically
Change the word
logical
show examples
for those
countries
to protect their
culture
.
although
that
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
these
countries
to increase their revenue in
this
sector and through
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the society can
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
built
Change the form of the verb
build
show examples
a project that related to their
culture
to prosper more and more,
For instance
, Thailand has many
tourisms
Correct your spelling
tourists
show examples
yearly, so that keep the country flourish from all their aspect, it can be the second source of
money
for the government.
To conclude
, it is frequently said that, using
culture
to generate profit,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be a negative way because will disappear the
culture
instead
of flourishing,
Otherwise
,
culture
can help the
countries
to
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
renowned worldwide and
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
more
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the
tourism
economy. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
using
culture
to earn
money
is a good concept economically.
Submitted by alihafiid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to include these to provide a well-structured essay. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt and provide relevant examples and explanations to support your ideas.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates limited understanding of the task. There is a need to address all parts of the prompt and present a clear opinion supported by relevant examples and explanations. Ensure that the ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: