Some people believe that what children watch in television influence on children's behaviour. Others say that amount of time on television influence their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent times, many individuals believe that the type of
content
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children
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watch on television significantly influences their behaviour,
while
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others argue that the amount of
time
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spent watching television plays a crucial role in shaping their mindset. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my opinion. On the one hand, some people believe that the
content
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children
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watch on television plays an important role in shaping kids' mindsets.
In other words
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,if
children
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watch crime-related videos throughout their childhood,they may be admired by
such
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content
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and imitate those steps to fulfil their dreams.
Moreover
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,
children
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can easily copy anything or influenced by anybody and what they see,
thus
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we should teach or allow them to watch good videos and educational lectures that would be beneficial for their better life.
For example
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,
according to
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a study, most parents do not allow their offspring to watch crime-related channels and
instead
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encourage them to watch cartoons, which serve as a source of entertainment.
On the other hand
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, some folks think that spending a long amount of
time
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in front of the TV influences a child's mindset.Nowadays,
due to
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the development in technology, there are many platforms which attract them, so they spend most of their
time
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on those things.
Therefore
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,
this
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is the reason that TV impacts their behaviours mostly, they spend unlimited
time
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on gaming, and movies which contain negative
content
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influence the behaviour of teenagers. They are able to find some
content
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which does not fit their ages easily, so they learn from those negative things
,
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apply
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and tend to copy and practice to others. In conclusion, both
content
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and screen
time
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significantly influence
children
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's behaviour.
While
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inappropriate
content
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shapes their mindset, excessive TV
time
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affects social skills.
Thus
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, parents should regulate both aspects to ensure healthy development.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clearer transition between ideas to enhance flow.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives, effectively discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly outline your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impressionable
  • Influence
  • Behaviour
  • Values
  • Themes
  • Characters
  • Understanding of society
  • Decision-making processes
  • Exposure
  • Aggression
  • Fear
  • Educational programs
  • Social skills
  • Excessive
  • Diminished
  • Academic performance
  • Social interactions
  • Empathy
  • Communication skills
  • Balance
  • Monitor
  • Parental involvement
  • Guidelines
  • Quality content
  • Screen time
  • Mimic
  • Moral lessons
  • Perspectives
  • Role models
  • Value system
  • Behaviour patterns
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