At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

There has been an increasing
number
of youngsters than old citizens in some societies. I believe that the fit young brings a variety of advantages by means of numerous ways, compared to the opposite trend.
Firstly
, the reason why the young can considerably contribute to their community is that they will be able to pay
taxes
for social welfare for the long term to endorse the old,
such
as medical insurance, pension, and infrastructure. If the stable
number
of young populations keep paying for the primary social benefits even just consumption and income
taxes
or other taxations, it would be significant in the life of the old. Most retired people are inclined to live without work-related incomes and clearly, they deserve to receive back what they paid for
taxes
as benefits,
while
they were employees.
Moreover
, there is a possibility that seniors have a tendency to face medical and financial issues so the government need to take a measure for those unfortunate to protect against suffering.
Therefore
, constant financial support from a large
number
of young populations is dramatically beneficial for the minority group of old and it is not a big deal for the majority of young to levy
taxes
for taking care of boomers.
Secondly
, it is not only important financial support but
also
the old need physical and mental assistance from the young generations.
This
is because it simply occurs in the ageing process that people advance in years,
such
as diseases related to immobility, dementia and loneliness. The most effective methods are stimulations for the old from physically fit youngsters in order to revive the lively life.
In addition
, the substantial
number
of young have the potential for continuous caregiving to the old
as a result
,
this
is a strong advantage for society rather than having trouble with short of employees in healthcare sections. In conclusion,
it is clear that
the advantages of the considerable
number
of young in a community are wide-ranging. In my opinion, the young have physically and mentally more motivation and vitality to help the old become active, and, though, not vice versa.
As a result
, in effect,
this
would be flourishing the country.
Submitted by slowloris4444 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are lacking clarity and should be more explicit. Ensure that the introduction presents the main points to be discussed, and the conclusion summarizes the key points and provides a final thought on the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that there is a clear and direct response to the essay prompt. Stay focused on the topic and make sure that the essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of the large number of young adults compared to older people in society.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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