Many people believe that the government should be responsible for making laws to improve public health and nutrition, while others argue that it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both the views and then give your opinion.
It is often thought that improving
health
and nutrition
through law should be done by the government
. However
, others believe that individuals are responsible for their health
. In my opinion, I believe that maintaining health
and nutrition
intake should depend on the community’s financial condition.
On the one hand, according to
some people
, the government
should maintain healthcare and nutrition
to prevent prolonged starvation. Many people
in developing countries still live paycheck to paycheck, which means some need to limit their spending. With the limited amount of money, they are unable to fulfill
daily calories, which Change the spelling
fulfil
lead
to a high percentage of stunting in Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
baby
and children. The Fix the agreement mistake
babies
government
should create a food bank and public health
center
to ensure no longer Change the spelling
centre
people
are unable to eat daily.
On the other hand
, others think improving health
and nutrition
should be an individual responsibility, especially for people
with privileges. People
with high income
levels can afford to go abroad just for healthcare checks, even without insurance. Apart from that, those Add a hyphen
high-income
people
can afford expensive food items. When they are allergic to specific types of food, they can just change it into others even though it is only available from the imported store. Therefore
, those people
can maintain their healthcare because they can afford it.
Finally
, in my view, whether the government
or individuals should be responsible for improving health
and nutrition
depends on the financial conditions. The government
should help those who come from poor families
by building public facilities and allocating more funds for public programs. Meanwhile, individuals from high-middle income families
can fund their choice by themselves since they have more privileges.
In conclusion, despite people
having many different opinions, I believe that improving health
and nutrient intake should be done by the government
in terms of poor families
while
richer families
can fund individual choices.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-organized, and your main points are clearly presented. However, consider adding more detailed examples for each point to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow seamlessly from one to another. Some transitions could be smoother to improve overall readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly encapsulate your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a high score in task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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