IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently attended a training course organised by your company. You found the course useful, but you think it could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: describe the training course you attended explain how the course has helped you suggest some improvements for future training courses

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I am writing to provide some feedback regarding the workplace safety training course that I attended at our company
last
Linking Words
 week. The course focused mainly on emergency procedures, the correct use of safety equipment and ways to prevent accidents in the workplace.
Overall
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, I found the training extremely useful. It not only improved my knowledge of workplace safety but
also
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 taught me how to respond appropriately in an emergency.
For example
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, I learned how to operate a fire extinguisher and provide basic first aid.
As a result
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, I now feel more confident about dealing with unexpected situations at work.
However
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, I believe the course could be improved by including more practical activities.
Although
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 the instructor explained the procedures clearly, most of the training was theoretical. Providing employees with more hands-on practice would allow them to apply what they have learned in real situations. I would
also
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 suggest making the sessions slightly shorter to help participants remain focused. Thank you for considering my suggestions. Yours faithfully, Garry

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task response
You cover all parts of the task well. To make the letter even stronger, add one clear detail about the course, such as how long it was or who led it.
task response
Your ideas about more practice and shorter sessions are useful. You could also say how these changes would help staff learn better.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter is easy to follow, with a clear start, main points, and ending. Use one more linking word, such as “also” or “therefore”, to make the ideas flow even more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point, which is very clear. Keep this good paragraph plan in future letters.
task response
You clearly describe the course, explain what you learned, and give useful ideas for change.
task response
The tone is polite and right for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear order: course details, help from the course, then ideas for change.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “However” help the reader follow your points.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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