IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram shows how fruit is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows how fruit is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#fruit #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The process diagram depicts information about how
fruit
 is canned.
Overall
, it can clearly be seen that there is a lot of process that can be divided into four main points. First thing
first,
the
fruit
 in the garden
picked
Add a missing verb
is picked
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hand and put
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the basket. The
fruit
 that has been picked will be lifted onto the truck and
transport
Wrong verb form
transported
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to the factory. Once the
fruit
is arrived
Change to the active voice
arrives
has arrived
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will washed
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a lot of water.
Then
, the
fruit
 will be checked by
magnifying
Add an article
a magnifying
the magnifying
show examples
 glass. After that, they will move to the cold
storing
Replace the word
storage
show examples
 to have a high temperature.
Then
, the
fruit
 is graded by the scales and
peel them
Wrong verb form
peeled
show examples
 before they
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
remove
Wrong verb form
removed
show examples
 by the skin which is coring.
Finally
, after
skin
Add an article
the skin
show examples
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
removed, it is time to
slicing
Wrong verb form
slice it
show examples
 into pieces and put it in the can. Can which has already
fruit
 in it will sealed to make it sterile and cooked
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a high temperature to make
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 longer expired.
Then
, before they move to the storage, each can will be
labelling
Wrong verb form
labelled
show examples
 and
finally
 they are ready to distribute to the supermarket by truck.
Submitted by aulia2207nadila on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fruit with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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