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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on thier smartphone.

#children #hours #thier #smartphone
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Smartphones are really important devices for everyone of all ages and seems like many
children
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 spend long hours of their
time
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 on phones nowadays. In
this
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 ,essay I will explain why
children
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 are doing
this
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 and I will discuss why I think it is a negative trend. One of the reasons why
children
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 nowadays spend long hours on their smartphones is that parents do not have
time
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 for their offspring since they are busy with their work, hobbies and chores at home, so they allow their young ones to play games or social media to be able to draw their attention and do not disturb them
while
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 they are working or cleaning at home.
For example
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,
according to
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 research conducted by Bangkok University, 80% of modern families have only one child and a child does not have any siblings to play with, so they even play alone or just spend their
time
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 browsing online. If
children
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 have someone to play with, they will reduce their screen
time
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.
This
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 is a negative development because activities on smartphones or modern technology will make
children
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 addicted to online content and games, so they will have inactive personalities and do not want to have physical exercise which can cause them to have trouble in physical health like obesity or heart problems.
For instance
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, in a survey conducted by Bangkok Hospital in 2021, 70% of young patients aged 10-15 years old, who have health issues, gave information about their hobbies as browsing the internet and playing online games. The more
children
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 spend their
time
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 in active activity, the healthier they will be. In conclusion, it is true that smart devices are used by
children
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 for long hours each day because their parents do not have
time
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 to spend with them on other activities and I think it is a negative development because it could make them inactive and can cause health problems.
Submitted by patinyajaithan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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