There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

#live #performance #play #concert #home #television

With the advancement of technology, it is much easier nowadays to watch live shows

While

sitting at

home

However

, there are a lot of

people

who believe that listening to a live concert has much more energy than listening at

home

.but, as far as I am concerned, I believe that watching

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

shows is much better than watching it on a television. To commence with the first notion, as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology is evolving, it is very convenient for

consumer

Add an article

the consumer

a consumer

show examples

to watch different sports or

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

on their devices. To elaborate, a person can watch the shows with

thier

Correct your spelling

their

family members and friends

while

staying at

home

and does not have difficulty travelling.

Moreover

, there are different platforms on

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

that

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

live programs at a very reasonable price so that the consumer can buy their subscription.

For instance

, JioCinema provides different types of free LIVE concert or play on the app.

As a result

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans will prefer to stay at

home

than to attend a live performance. On the paradoxical side, the

people

who do not visit the

stadium

cannot feel the vibe and the environment around the

stadium

. To simplify, there are a lot of

people

who come into the

stadium

to support their favourite singer or

sports persons

Correct your spelling

sportsperson

show examples

Further

Rephrase

Furthermore

show examples

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

they create

such

Change the article

show examples

environment that it gives goosebumps to both the player and the crowd.

For example

, around one lakh

people

have witnessed India versus Pakistan at Ahmedabad for a cricket

match

Add a comma

,match

show examples

you do the excitement and the madness for cricket.

In addition

this

, attending live plays or a match can

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

create a plethora of

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

Thus

, there is a different feeling altogether to watch different shows and concerts live.

To conclude

, there are both positive and negative sides to the topic. But in my opinion, I totally disagree with the fact that

people

should watch on television

instead

Citizens can witness the LIVE crowd and the singers/players in the

stadium

because they have a much more positive side than sitting at

home

and watching alone.

Submitted by ayush.s2352 on Thu Sep 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The Olympic Games have long been a subject of debate, with some viewing them as thrilling events that unite nations, while others consider them a waste of resources that could be better allocated elsewhere. Both perspectives have merit and warrant a closer examination.
7.5
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, when prospective employees sign up for an open position in a company, oftentimes they are asked to fill down private data such as favourite activities and marital status. Some say this requirement is not needed, while others say this is necessary. In my opinion, this additional information is helpful, especially for the recruiters. This essay will elaborate on both positions below.
7.5
band
Fewer young people choose to work in farming. What are the reasons? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?
In this contemporary epoch, the rate of population indulged in farming has dropped. I wholeheartedly believe that farming occupation should be promoted among youngsters. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this scenario and lead to a logical conclusion.
6
band
Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The significance of health has been highlighted as life expectancy prolongs. From this aspect, questions about whether out of a nation's health budget, a large percentage should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive action arise. In my opinion, the authorities should spend the health budget for health education and preventive actions rather than treatment to some extent.
5
band
Computers are widely used in education and teachers now play a less important role in the classroom than ever before. Do you agree or disagree?
Sometimes a group of people see the words on the passages in different colors, such as the numbers seen blue or some words seen green. According to neuroscientists, these people have a condition called synesthesia. This Greek word means together and come from perception’s people and allowing for a combination of different sensory perceptions. Neurologist Richard Cytowic learned about synesthesia from his neighbor who tasted shapes and a colleague who saw the sound of his hospital pager as red lightning bolts. He and other scientists believe synesthesia is not abnormal, and that we all may experience it at birth. People with synesthesia retain indistinct sensory boundaries throughout their lives.

There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fewer young people choose to work in farming. What are the reasons? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers are widely used in education and teachers now play a less important role in the classroom than ever before. Do you agree or disagree?