Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, research proves that the amount of fast Linking Words
food
consumed is out of control, Use synonyms
moreover
, it can cause unhealthy situations and even diseases. When it comes to the solutions to Linking Words
this
issue, there are two contrasting opinions, one supposes Linking Words
that is
able to Linking Words
dealt
with by education, Add a missing verb
be dealt
whereas
another disagrees with the effects of educating Linking Words
people
. The essay will discuss both sides and explain why I agree with the latter idea.
On the one hand, improving Use synonyms
people
's awareness of detrimental substances contained in fast Use synonyms
food
seems to be the most possible way to keep them away from that harmful diet. Use synonyms
This
is because many individuals do not realize how acute dishes like burgers and chips can attack them. The case of some developing countries where human health is not taken seriously is an example. Citizens there only concentrate on the convenience that junk Linking Words
food
service brings about, not its long-term consequences. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
would consider carefully about their eating habits if they were educated.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it can be said that education usually has no use. Nowadays, consumers are able to access information simply, so they may all know the junk Linking Words
food
's terrible effects. Use synonyms
However
, perhaps they do not care much about them. A piece of evidence that can be offered is Coke, one of the most popular soft drink brands in the world. Despite the fact that everyone knows it includes high levels of added sugar and processed preservatives, which leads to health problems Linking Words
such
as obesity, diabetes and so on, nobody has Linking Words
an
intention to modify the habit of drinking it regularly. Change the article
the
Moreover
, the apathetic attitude of individuals is Linking Words
also
recognized via the rapidly increasing sales and the constant appearance of fast Linking Words
food
restaurants like McDonald's or KFC Use synonyms
in
every corner from urban to rural areas.
To summarize, Change preposition
on
although
educating Linking Words
people
has certain impacts on coping with Use synonyms
this
issue, its scale is extremely small and insignificant. Linking Words
Hence
, I personally believe education has never been a good solution to resolve the problem of fast-Linking Words
food
consumption.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, you can work on making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
For a better task achievement score, make sure to delve deeper into your examples and elaborate more on how education could influence junk food consumption. Providing more comprehensive and specific details can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided an effective introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure that discusses both views before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the case of Coke and the prevalence of fast food restaurants.